Ed. Written in a fever dream after Sandy Hook, but every word still true. Fuck Guns!
Firearm manufacturers… you will a) do exclusive government and military contracting, b) continue to manufacture under a specific set of guidelines, or c) be subsidized to retool to manufacture something else. Don’t worry; we’ll make it a sweetheart deal. If you are just manufacturing overseas, you wont be able to get your stuff imported anymore, so talk to the government officials over there and see what they can do for you.
Gun shops, gun trade shows and online stores… I’m sorry; you are mostly going to be shut down. I imagine this will be voluntary for the most part. I’ll get to the details below, but you’re probably not going to like the new government oversight anyway. I suggest moving to on to less efficient lethal weapon sales… like swords and, I don’t know, crossbows…I’m being facetious. Anyway, I think you’ll be okay, and there will be government grants and no-interest loans to help you get your business transitioned. If you can sell guns, I’m sure you can sell anything. Right? Online sales and mail based distribution of firearm and firearm related paraphernalia will be illegal. The exception will be for designated remote areas that do not have reasonable access to brick and mortar retailers. This mail based distribution will be exclusively handled by government agencies and licensed contractors. Obviously, gun trade shows are over as we know them today.
People who own guns… we’re going to take your guns. Sorry. Some bad apples ruined it for everybody. But don’t fret! You CAN get a gun! (More on that later.)
First, the bad news, handguns and concealed firearms are illegal. Military, police and government licensed/regulated businesses (security, military contractors mainly…even gun ranges) can get handguns, but that’s it.
Obviously, these are also the kind of employment sectors that will have access to the more exotic kinds of weapons that some people really love. So, if you are a gun-nut, apply today.
Outside of handguns, consumer grade firearms will be available (Yay!). But like fireworks, it’s going to be safe-and-sane stuff only (none of the truly fun stuff).
Here’s the deal. Every law-abiding, licensed citizen over 12 years of age is allowed to get two categories of firearm. One (1) firearm from each category at any given time (Basically, you can have two firearms in your possession without too much hassle).
- Category 1 is double-barrel or pump action shotguns (maximum magazine capacity – 4 loads).
- Category 2 is single-action rifles (maximum magazine capacity – 6 rounds).
All legal firearms will have fixed stocks and a minimum total length, to be determined.
Ammunition sales will be rationed. Requests for larger amounts of ammunition will be documented and reviewed on a case by case basis and will have to meet certain criteria.
You can exchange your firearms for upgraded models but this is all done through the government regulated trade program, facilitated by local dealers.
Violators of the new code (which will be idiot proof)… after a few infractions, you lose your guns and no one in your house can have a gun either. Repeat and serious offenders will face criminal prosecution…Nothing as draconian as the Rockefeller Drug Laws, but at a certain point they won’t be messing around anymore, and you are going to do some real time. Like I said before, if you are really gun crazy and can’t live without access to lots of exotic firearms, join the military. If they don’t want you, seek counseling (which will be available, paid for by the government, during the initial transition).
Illegal gun dealers will be treated very severely, going right up to mandatory life sentences in some cases.
Certified professional gamesmen and marksmen athletes can possess additional firearms from the two available categories.
Even consumers can apply for additional legal firearms but it will require hefty annual licensing fees.
Non-lethal concealed protection (tasers and maybe something like small-form-factor single-shot bean bag guns) would be legal and available. Innovators who create new forms of personal non-lethal protection (devices that could serve as an acceptable replacement for today’s civilian handgun) will receive incentives, grants and distribution.
I could go on, but this was pretty excessive for an exercise anyway and I’m starting to feel silly. This is just some pseudo-therapeutic noodling. I’m a problem solver and these are some sincere thoughts on solutions to the national firearm problem I’ve been having. I just wanted to get down on paper…Thoughts mainly in reaction to the recent mass murders and statistics that show gun sales at an all time high.
I understand the vulnerabilities inherent in not allowing all citizens to carry concealed firearms but I think it is an acceptable risk. I believe we, as a society, have to innovate away from killing the people who wish to do us harm. Knock-them-out-and-lock-them-up works for me.
What I’m trying to paint here is a reality that makes sense to me…where people can protect themselves and hunt within reason. If you read this, thanks. If you disagree, keep it to yourself. I really don’t care.
