Some of my best friends are hospitality industry housekeepers

I’ve had this title on the brain for a couple of weeks…while I was neglecting my “platform”. So yeah, I enjoyed a short resort vacation in that interim (entitled much?) and had some interactions with the hotel staff. You get back to your room in the middle of a cleaning, that kind of thing. We see these people but we don’t think on them too much. We might leave them a tip…if we feel bad.

But they live a truth. You get to this country and (if you’re lucky) you might just end up making beds and cleaning toilets in a nice hotel. It’s a job. You work hard, long hours doing redundant, menial labor for shit pay. There is no glamour, no prestige, certainly no “opportunity for advancement”. None of your co-workers envy your position. You probably have to take all kinds of shit from your supervisors and the guests. But you survive. You get your kids into the American public school system. You model your work ethic for those kids. If those kids apply that ethic in school and lose the accent, they might just find themselves working the front desk of that hotel one day. They might find themselves doing anything their little hearts desire.

This is America to me. That this can, and does, happen here. That it happens every day.

Even the most cold-blooded economist will tell you that American economic growth is driven, and has always been driven, by the hard work of immigrant labor (at least since we closed the slave auctions, that is). Let’s not forget immigrant innovation, too. Without this labor and innovation, America would not be the power house nation you see today.

Remember, dirty jobs done cheap (by immigrant labor) are always churning away just under the veneer of your pure, white heaven. You pull that piece out of the puzzle and you’ll find yourself neck deep in raw sewage before you can say, “MAGA!”

But yeah, that article title “joke” (Some of my best friends are…). I don’t know these immigrants (not really) and I never will. I’ll never be besties with them. And that goes for everyone else in my position, and YOU, TOO! Am I wrong?

Now that I think of it…Who is going to be my friend? So lonely…Shake it off, Powers!

So we need them, they are part-and-parcel of the fabric of which our country is borne, but “class” and “culture” keep them at arms length. I can’t fix that. But I know these class and culture bias “walls” (Like that?…“walls”…get it?) delay and impede the desired “cultural assimilation” we require from our immigrants. And so we get ghettos, and the poverty, alienation, desperation and crime that comes along with excluded populations in ghettos.

And we’ve had that going on for a long time. That energy and precedent feeds on itself, grows, becomes the culture, a paradigm, a talking point for racist pundits and politicians looking to further exclude these groups. American capitalism and culture creates ghettos. Period. Deal with it. Suck it. We choose to live with it. I think we can do better. But this is what it is for now…

But now we got this fucking guy…

#PresidentShithead. He sucks such ass. He makes everything worse, unless you look at the world through asshole tinted glasses.

And it’s tough. I’ve come to the point I can’t even parse it anymore. This asshole is soul spooning the 35% of the population that will always be stupid and hateful…all-day-long…every time. Call them a “basket of deplorables”, to coin a phrase (I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before…nevermind). Turns out their hatred goes racist real easy. Who would have known? And this fucking guy, turns out HE’S RACIST, TOO. A marriage made in hell. The more he scapegoats brown immigration at his hate rallies and in his hate tweets, the more they love it. It’s a majestic symbiosis of vomit.

Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate gets people to the polls. Hate got him elected. Hate is his brand. Hate is fuel for the fire. Hate needs a target. Hate is power. Hate is dominance. Hate is control. Hate is “strong”. Hate. Hate. Hate. Until we rid ourselves of this arbiter of hate we are doomed to live in a hater nation. Oh, we are soooo fucked.

But even more fucked are these poor immigrant motherfuckers. Some nice lady who, if she’s lucky, might be so privileged as to be given the opportunity to scrape your poo remnants off the inside of your hotel room toilet and fish your discarded Band-Aids out of the shower drain. Some nice lady who might have a kid she doesn’t want targeted, murdered and/or raped by some cartel funded gang. So here’s a policy, if she gets to our border with this kid, let’s terrorize her again (and the kid, too). Don’t let her scrape poo! Separate them and LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! (Once again, I’m detecting notes of familiarity).

But where does it end?

I see these asshole Republicans digging in behind this racist President (Urp. Can this fuck actually be the President? I’m not convinced). They are trenching deep. Digging miles of tunnels (Supreme Court tunnels). They know those Russian chickens are coming home soon. They could wake up and walk away, but what they really, really want to do is go full alt-fact death cult. And it is a cult. The Kool-Aid has been served and it has been drunk deep. They’re guzzling that Kool-Aid down by the gallon and asking for seconds. So they can finally get what they want.

So what do they want?

Well they have a list. The original list was as follows:

  • Punish homosexuals
  • Criminalize abortion
  • Mandatory Christian prayer in public schools
  • Racial discrimination & segregation
  • Women in “traditional gender roles”

And now we can add these, too…

  • Make acquiring a gun as easy as possible
  • Reduce/Abolish taxes for the wealthy
  • Abolish social welfare
  • Privatize/Commoditize social services and education
  • Privatize/Commoditize transportation, public roads and bridges
  • Break all labor organizations (unless it’s police)
  • Build a wall across Mexico
  • Dismantle the NATO alliance
  • Defend, fetishize and ultimately implement authoritarianism
  • Demonize people who don’t agree with you
  • Call the independent free press the “enemy of the people”
  • Allow the unrestricted destruction of the natural environment and discredit scientists who warn against it
  • Make sure that all important decisions are made by, and in the best interest of, old, white, rich men.

So let’s say they get everything they want. I mean every checkbox is filled. I mean no taxes. Zero. All the glaciers are melted down. Done! #PresidentShithead’s tweets come over your media devices via the Emergency Broadcast System. Jesus’ face is placed smack in the middle of the American flag and the stars are swapped out for crosses. Women who’ve had abortions are put in stocks in the public square. Sounds nice, right?

What do you give to the racist who has everything?

So they get everything they want. And yet they still feel angry and empty inside. I mean sure, yeah, they needed all those things. But something’s still off. It’s that pesky white nationalist itch. If it isn’t scratched, they’ll never feel reich … I mean “right”. It isn’t you, it’s them. You did your best. You were submissive and compliant, just like they said they wanted. Shit! They got everything they asked for, but it turns out it just wasn’t enough.

So long as the people who reflect slightly less light into their retinas than other people exist, or even have the potential to exist, within their fields-of-view, lets be honest, they’ll never be happy (unless that person is way off to the side holding a toilet brush …obviously). Because lets face it, reflectivity is the ultimate measure of a person’s worth.

I mean, isn’t this what really brought that 35% together in the first place. Sure they made that silly little list of stuff they wanted. It was fun. A bonding experience. But let’s get real. There was one thing they didn’t want to put on the list. They were embarrassed. Probably should have been number one. They just wanted you to get it for them without them having to ask. I mean, if you really knew them, you would have gotten it for them already…if you really knew them…

“Genocide! For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have.

I see you

Sorry for the long strange trip. I’ve just had my fill of racism and xenophobia. I see these immigrants. They come to America to do our dirty shit jobs for us so that maybe, just maybe, their children will have a chance at a better life. I see them. I respect them. I know their story is the story of my family tree, not so far back. When I see these people abused, maligned and scapegoated, by a bunch of entitled, selfish, unappeasable, WILLFULLY STUPID white fucks WHO SEEMINGLY HAVE NO GRASP OF HISTORY (EVEN THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS), it boils my blood.

It makes me crazy when I see the President of the United States embolden these fucking losers, to bluntly and repeatedly reinforce their stupidity and hatred. It makes me crazy when I see the President of the United States IS ONE OF these fucking losers.

It has to be stopped! This FUCK has to be impeached! He should have been sent up for impeachment the day he said the press was the “enemy of the people”…just for that alone. I don’t know how to stop it, but the stopping of it has to start, “big league”.

#OccupyWashington? Where are you? Is that a thing? Can it be a thing? I think it better become a thing…soon. We have to get a couple of million peeps on the streets in DC, stat. Bring your water boxes, bring your canned food and just fucking camp out. Have hand drum, will travel. Discuss amongst yourselves.

’Til next time.

P.S. (note to self) Remember to tip the housekeeper, you cheap fuck.

Mike Hunt or: Little Miss Seaward

I’m going to preface this with a note explaining that I know that no one cares what a middle-aged white boy from the ’burbs has to say about the Full Frontal C*nt-roversy. In fact, I know I have no right to make any comment at all… and yet, oops?

No one likes to be ad hominemed or debased in public. People enjoy doing it or witnessing it being done onto others. But being targeted? Well, that’s another story. And the “c-word” ad hominem, WOOF, that is a prickly pear in American culture. In England they fling that thing around to the point where it’s almost a term of endearment, but here, in the “puritanical” US of A, it is considered the “nuclear option”. American women don’t like it at all, and we must respect that.

I (my wife and my 5 year-old-son) have found that I use that term exclusively when discussing other drivers when I’m on the road (regardless of their gender). Not often, like I said…“nuclear option”, but if you narrowly cut me off on the freeway going 80 and then slam your breaks…I will “push the button”…and often supercharge my attack with a colorful f-bomb based continuous verb prefix modifier…because you have to. Yeah, in case you weren’t in the know, I curse…occasionally.

So, I’m not casting any stones here. I’m keeping all my stones in-hand, just in case I need them to fight my way out of this post. As I said, this is a prickly pear subject.

Tone Deaf

I was annoyed that I read about the controversy prior to seeing the show, because it robbed me of my own gut-check on the word. I would have liked to have known how the slag would have landed with me, before it was colored by pundit opinions. And that’s a real problem I have with instant news; it’s always trying to tell me how to feel before I have the experience myself.

When I did actually watch the bit, I honestly did not like the word in context, but I did understand the rage behind it. The insult was at the apex of a passionate plea calling for a stop to our US border enforcement’s abuse of immigrants, and disgusting policy of separating asylum seeking immigrant parents from their children.

#PresidentShithead could stop these abuses (with one of his beloved executive orders), but he is a vile, racist, scapegoating, opportunistic, piece-of-shit (have I gone too far?) who will gladly trade in human misery so long as it keeps him in good stead with his racist, racist-adjacent, and racist-tolerant base (a base that includes that off-her-meds, racist, shit-show Rosanne Barr). Ivanka Trump is an “Advisor” to his administration (a complicit part of this administration) and so she’s a fair target.

I just don’t agree with targeting Ivanka for Instagramming with her young son (Mob Rules – spouses and children who aren’t “in the business”,…yet, are to be left out. Of course, that didn’t keep #PresidentShithead from laying a hit on Ted Cruz’s wife. But anyway…). Bringing Ivanka into the crosshairs in this context is one thing (I get it), but then laying that “nuclear option” ad hominem on top of that context, it just wasn’t a take that I care to rally behind…in the greater context of “the Movement”. The Movement that seeks a pathway to a more conscientious culture. A culture still chock full o’ penis and vagina jokes, to be sure (FOR AMERICA!). Just more conscientious penis and vagina jokes. But I digress.

That’s probably why the joke landed flat with me. And trust me, I feel Bee’s rage. And rage will make you say some strooong shit. Trust me, I know. I just think it’s a shame that Bee’s message was lost and her platform was threatened because she went “feckless [c-word]” instead of…I dunno…“Twat”? Is that just as bad? Shit!

Summing up

I am an unapologetic Samantha Bee fan, she’s been making me laugh and think for years. Entertainers who do that for us hold a special position in our hearts, and so we cut them “slack”. It’s called “good will”. Good will is a resource. I can be eroded and it can be spent. Good will can also be built back up and restored. Samantha Bee has a shit-ton of good will banked in reserve. So we’re good. She apologized, so everyone just back the fuck off.

Ivanka Trump, on the other hand, is tantamount to a nonentity to me. She represents superficial things like corporate fashion, corporate branding & cosmetic surgery. These are things I don’t hold in high esteem. I’m not a hater on them either, they just don’t buy much of that aforementioned “good will”. As a surrogate for her father, she has proven herself a garbage human being, so there’s that. Her husband has apparently attempted to peddle influence to foreign powers and advocated against those who refused to pay in (we call that racketeering, in case you didn’t know). This doesn’t seem to bother her either. Yet I still don’t want to see her called a c-word on television…Maybe that makes me part of the problem. I just want them fired and investigated if necessary. That will be enough.

It’s a tricky time to insult any woman (even if she is a quantifiably vapid or shitty person), especially via the c-bomb through the platform of commercial television. It was pretty out there and presumptuous of Bee, her producers and writers to go there…mainly because of the commercial television angle. Sponsors are selling soap…to wash out your c-word. Laying a politically charged c-word on corporate sponsors sounds like career suicide to me. Remember Samantha, you are not driving in your car…you’re on TBS.

You do have to do the “We won’t get your products boycotted” dance just a little bit. And a good place to start is with a no c-word policy. Unless, that is, you’re talking about a man. Take, for instance, #PresidentShithead, that guy is a total cunt. [Redacted]

Totalitarian Creep

I was watching Peter Lassally’s interview on CBS Sunday Morning. He was an Executive Producer on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, but he is also a Nazi Holocaust concentration camp survivor. In the interview, he confessed that, in the last year, he has lost his appetite for fiction and light entertainment. He said he sleeps about 4 hours a night and spends his entire day watching and ingesting news.

So, with his tragic background, Peter Lassally might have some deeper understanding of the stakes we are playing with in pacifying #PresidentShithead. Maybe Lassally has firsthand insight on how a strident minority population can create enough momentum to turn a divided country into despotic, criminal war machine. A criminal war machine that turns on, and scapegoats, its own population with violent and murderous oppression in order to consolidate and maintain power. You think it can’t happen here? Peter Lassally KNOWS BETTER THAN YOU WHAT CAN HAPPEN. He’s watching VERY, VERY closely because of just what he knows. Think on that.

Like Lassally, I have also lost interest in many of the things I used to mindlessly, or by routine, enjoy. For example, I used to listen to Howard Stern in the morning…not anymore! It’s “Morning Joe” for me now. Where I watch recovering Neocons ponder how things went so wrong (oh the innocence of youth…and the “enhanced interrogation techniques”…and the war profiteering…but I’m sure they’ll figure it out someday).

I have appropriated a term to define what has us all so “off our milk”…I call it “Totalitarian Creep”. No, this is not a new nickname for #PresidentShithead, although, yes, by any conceivable measure, the man is a certified “creep”. I am referring to “Totalitarian Creep” – a condition more akin to the global warming of our country’s character. Charmingly, if you search the term “Totalitarian Creep” on Google, you will find the highest ranked results come from posts from the last decade criticizing the Obama administration (isn’t that cute?). Set that aside. Look at this culture. You are living in the midst of Totalitarian Creep.

So how did we get here?

We have a minority political party (the Republican Party, in case you were wondering) that tries to maintain a narrative that we (read as “the conscientious”) are overreacting to #PresidentShithead’s never-ending trolling and mercurial positional inconsistency. They say, when asked about this shitshow of an administration, that we must keep our attention “on the policy, not the man”. So we look at the policy; Robber Baron sponsored deregulation under the banner of Neo-libritarianism (which is really Social Darwinism), Unilateralism based on the unhinged and uninformed whims and moods of #PresidentShithead, a deficit spiking corporate welfare tax reform bill written by the Robber Barons, the purging of non-political Federal employees so they can be replaced with “loyalists”, the dismantling of our nascent National Health Service, an inability to face down our number one foreign threat actor (cowardice most likely inspired by some fucked up blackmail scenario). I could go on-and-on. So we look at the policy (you know, because we were asked to) and it turns out the policies are just as shit as the man himself.

So, to these blind-ass Republicans I say, “You need to wake the fuck up. Look in the mirror. See if there is a wisp of a soul floating around somewhere in the back of one of your glazed-over, nonentity eyeballs. It might be somewhere near the retina. Got a lock on it? Good! Try to commune with that thing (it must be a shriveled little thing). Okay. You have your listening hat on now? I’m just gonna say this right close into your ear, if that’s alright. YOUR PRESIDENT IS TOTALLY FUCKED UP AND IT ISN’T OKAY!!! CLEAN HOUSE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! BUY A PAIR OF BALLS AND STOP THIS SHIT NOW!!! BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!! YOUR POLITICAL FUTURE IS FUCKED ANYWAY!!! SO BE A HERO FOR ONCE IN YOUR SHITTY, SELF-CENTERED-AYN-RAND-WANKING LIVES!!!”

But wait there’s more!

So, this Republican Party, they could have played things differently last year. After all, eight years before that, they viewed and treated Obama as a threat and an aberration, obstructing him for his two full terms. They also race-baited with birtherism, which the Koch’s (i.e, Robber Barons) were only more than glad to parlay into the racism-fueled Tea-Party movement. A movement that loaded the congress with a new class of bought-and-paid-for, moronic, racist, sexist, tax-hating, Social Darwinists. So, yeah, that happened. My point, they have notable experience in obstructionism on their resume.

However, last year, this same Republican leadership, when faced with the ACTUAL threat and aberration that is #PresidentShithead, well, they went a different way this time (surprise, surprise). They checked the weather report, realized where their racist/sexist wedge-base and their corporate overlords were at, and rolled over like the little, bought-and-paid-for bitches they are…midterms to think about, after all.

NEVERMIND Trump has a hard-on for dictators and fancies himself one.
NEVERMIND Trump is steadily rebuilding Federal Law enforcement into a self protection scheme.
NEVERMIND Trump is an unhinged id monster that feeds on his own media.
NEVERMIND Trump is a terrible role model for, literally, anyone.
NEVERMIND Trump is a criminal and a traitor…allegedly.

How fucking stupid are these Republicans? Can’t they see that America needs to heal? We need to get away from this fuck? (This is like the worst abusive marriage of all time. I want a divorce.) Can’t they see that a Chief Executive Twitter troll has to be cut-out, dealt-with? Can’t they see that America is the bastion against dictators? That its anti-dictatorial history is, in fact, the only thing that makes America exceptional? Can’t they give Peter Lassally a fucking break? (Let him get back to his stories…the guy lived through the fucking Holocaust after all.)

Can’t they recognize Totalitarian Creep when it’s at the gate?

Oh yeah, that’s right, they thought Obama was the Totalitarian. UFFA!

We’re fucked.

Married to the Mob

I’m not an expert on organized crime, but I watch a lot of TV and movies. So, I’m not a D.A. or a police detective or an ex-con or a current-con. But I’ve watched the Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas, Casino, Scarface, The Untouchables, The Sopranos, just to name a few. I also have a general interest in true crime journalism, in print and on TV. I know much of what we see in fiction is, just that, fiction, but there are some universal truths related to how organized crime works, and three specific tenets that I think are significant today.

  1. Illegal money has to be laundered.
  2. Once you become complicit with an organized crime syndicate (for example, conspiring in a money laundering scheme), the syndicate will use this connection as leverage against you (for control, blackmail, extortion, racketeering, etc).
  3. You don’t play along; you can get whacked.

It’s pretty sick stuff, but it works for the bad guys. Fortunately, we have a Federal Bureau of Investigations here in the United States to protect us from organized crime syndicates. Is the FBI perfect? No. Do they make mistakes? Yes. But they are our only and best Army to defend against the ever present threat of organized crime corrupting in our lawful Democracy.

Bottom line, if you are greedy (and morally bereft) then dirty money is hard to turn down. But this initial “handshake” is just your initiation in to being groomed as an asset by the syndicate. Once you put your hands on that dirty money, you are now a co-conspirator and the syndicate owns you…or you go to jail…or you get whacked.

If you are greedy, morally bereft and stupid, you may not understand that this is the deal, you might even think you are clever enough to escape it, but you’re not and it IS the deal, and your stupidity will not save you.

So What?

So why am I going on about this? Because it ties in with my perception of what I am witnessing playing out in our very highest seat of power, in the highest chair of the executive branch of the United States Federal Government.

If I’m perceiving things correctly, #PresidentShithead is being leveraged by an international organized crime syndicate (one that also just happens to be a nation state). This leverage is sticking because he, his company, his campaign, and/or his family is/are somehow complicit, or were complicit, with this syndicate’s very real money laundering activities.

Being leveraged (i.e., owned), our chief executive does not speak out or act in opposition to this syndicate in any way, or at any time, no matter what the syndicate does.

In fact, to go one further, this executive, and his minions, are in the process of a waging a disinformation campaign slandering our FBI. The FBI, like I said, being our only and best protection from organized crime syndicates.

Weird, huh?

And so…

The Mueller probe is going to spill the beans, eventually. And here’s what I’m thinking…

Here’s my prediction. And I’m just waiting for it to come out (if it’s allowed to come out). We are going to learn that it’s no great coincidence that Paul Manafort’s alleged money laundering conspiracy with the syndicate was falling apart in 2015, just prior to his attachment to the Trump campaign. I see this series of events as Manafort being compelled by the syndicate (via leverage) to do a job for them.

ALSO

We are going to get a whole bunch of information about the Trump organization’s financials, showing a longstanding, deep and solvency-sustaining transactional history with the syndicate (i.e., dirty money was touched).

What then…

Oh, it’s going to really suck for this country when it all comes out. A lot of good people (i.e., Republicans and Trumpees) are going to have to take a long, deep look in the mirror and accept they were duped (or, I guess, continue to live in denial).

There will be a constitutional crisis, because Trump will not resign. Say what you will about Nixon, he was not a great man, but he found the decency, humility, dignity and love-for-county to resign when the truth came out. I don’t think Trump will resign, because Trump’s alleged crimes are tied to conspiracies with other nation states, and those are very high crimes, and he is not going to cop to them under any circumstances. He will burn this country down around him before he comes clean.

And look, that’s to be expected. In your experience, do wiseguys sing like canneries at the first sign of trouble? Or instead, do they tend to claim totally innocence? I think the latter. I think it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience to see an immoral, guilty person stand up and proclaim, “I did it all, and this is how I did it. Let me start with blah blah blah…” NO, it doesn’t go like that. You have to collect all the evidence and throw the book at them.

On one hand, I’m elated… on the other (the much the more significant hand, that is really weighing on my mind), I’m terrified. Truly terrified.

But anything has to be better than being married to the mob.

Who’s the Snake?

Since #PresidentShithead decided to dust off one of his Greatest Shits, “The Snake”, at CPAC, I thought it only appropriate to ask, “Who is the Snake, again?”

I immediately thought, “This sound bite needs to be set to animation with Trump as the Snake and Lady Liberty as the…ya know, Lady.” I checked the internet and saw political cartoonist Bill Day beat me to the punch. And in getting ahead of me, he created a beautiful style guide. And look, the cartoon is great, but I think the #NEVERAGAIN kids need to see this baby fully animated to really get the point across.

I would do it myself, but, as I’ve previously stated, drawing is hard. So I nominate others to do the hard work I refuse to do myself, like any dedicated Liberal should.

Shit! Let’s make this a competition!

I want to call out the following people to each create individual cartoons based on the idea I had (that Bill Day just happened to have before me… so it is not, technically, stealing):

  • @psychicpebbles
  • @colbertlateshow
  • @geraldscarfe
  • @MikeJudge
  • @SouthPark
  • @JohnKricfalusi
  • @schoolhouserock

We’ll do a Twitter poll to determine the winner. We want to be fair and let the Russian Twitter Bots have a say, too.

Deadline for submissions is before the world ends.