Clickbait President

I’ve been thinking about Al Franken. He disappeared when he resigned from the Senate last December. I recall him saying, in his resignation speech, that we’d be seeing him around. Well, I haven’t seen him since. So, this morning, I searched on Google (a habit I am very seriously considering stopping #FUCKGOOGLE) to see what he’s been up to, and couldn’t find anything…right away.

I did see vague articles pondering a “comeback”. Then, there was a recent left-wing op-ed justifying Franken’s party, and progressive allies, turning on him as the least-worst solution at the time (BULLSHIT!). There was also a Page Six story, from a week ago, pulling Sarah Silverman quotes from GQ. She was making her case for Louis CK and Franken’s return to public life.


I really don’t like lumping Franken in with CK. CK committed serious sex crimes (from what I recall, it was public masturbation…That will get you in deep trouble, so I’ve heard. And CK deserves any trouble he’s in).

To the best of my knowledge, Franken always kept his trousers up. He was accused of forced or unwanted (prank?) kissing (no joke, a troubling accusation). And also touching or grasping women, without asking permission, typically when posing for photos (I think most men are guilty of this second crime, especially the “puppy dog” type…the WORST OFFENDERS!…By the by, I’m a VICTIM, TOO!!! Soon, I will tell my SHOCKING, TRUE story of how, for YEARS, I was ABUSED in this very same way! BY MY PARENTS!!! Stay tuned!).

With this touching-in-photos thing, and even the admittedly more serious unwanted-kissing thing, I’m willing to forgive the guy, so long as he is honest and contrite, which I believe he was.

I think it would have been a healthy exercise to have run this through the Senate Ethics Committee and road test the whole review process there, in a public and transparent manner, which I know Franken would have insisted on. In this way, we, the American citizens/voters, would have gotten to see whether or not it is a review system worth keeping or reforming (in light of the cultural shifts brought on by the #MeToo movement). The Senate didn’t want to do that…Go figure.

Bottom line, since December 2017, I’ve been waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop on Franken’s story. One that exposes that he, at some point, really did cross a significant line (in my pig eyes) in the abuse of women. Yet I’ve seen nary a Ked, a Naturalizer, or even a Birkenstock fall. And until that Louis Vuitton (?) plummets from the heavens, I’m with Franken. And if that day comes, and I’m proven wrong, I will drop Franken faster than you can say “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”.


I had to dig deep (in the search results I mentioned prior to that brutally long tangent) to find an announcement, from April, publicizing that Franken would be making his first public appearance on May 1st at the Privacy Xchange Forum 2018 in Lisbon, Portugal, to present a speech titled “Lies and Lying Liars in 2018: Privacy, Competition and Russian Election Meddling”. I dug deeper and found that the speech was live streamed on YouTube. As of today, one full month later, it has a WHOPPING 4,554 views! THAT’S 150 VEIWS A DAY!!!! WOW!!!!!!!

I highly suggest watching this video. It addresses, and bolsters, many of the points I raised in my last post regarding Google’s monopoly and unchecked power. I hate to sound like a conspiracist (too late), but it is funny how buried and unwatched the video of this speech is. Could this speech be (dun-dun-DUN!) Algorithmically Incorrect?

Jokes aside, I just want you to watch this video and remember just a small slice of what this man was fighting for as a Senator and what a pin-headed mistake it was to send him away.

So yeah, my post title is a little obtuse. Check the speech to tune into what I’m getting at. It’s not direct, but it’s in there…buried.

P.S. The loss of net neutrality is a very serious issue. It will negatively affect free speech. Don’t fool yourself.

P.P.S. Fuck Google.

P.P.P.S. no…really #FUCKGOOGLE

Why #MeToo Played the Al Franken Case All Wrong

Human beings are animals, bottom line. And as such, we exhibit animalistic behaviors. We are not ethereal beings of light. We are self-aware, ambulatory, electrically activated bags of water, no more, no less. Based on stimulus, hormone bags squirt inside of us and we like it (or don’t like it) and we react or don’t. As a species, we work together for and we fight against each other for resources to survive and set our brain bags at peace (get a few good hormone squeezes). Just like any other animal.

We evolved, and in so determined to set ourselves aside from animals in one way, and one way only, we have LAW. LAW is humanity, not math, not technology, not tools, art, music, the rest…LAW is humanity. The Bible (like all religious texts) is an ancient book of laws and parables, resourced and compiled from oral traditions, tablets and texts before it. It is a set of software routines for your brain bags, an OS. You might have been instructed, by that very selfsame document, to confuse it for a supernatural communication from an ethereal plane. This, sadly, is very hard to substantiate. More likely, God is a ghost story about a long-dead, beloved warrior priest-king told and retold to the point of absurd exaggeration. So now he’s got superpowers. He flies through the sky. He knows when you’ve been sleeping, he knows when you’re awake and you better follow his rules. Right? Sure, if it helps you sleep at night.

So our country’s founders were pretty smart. They might have even been “enlightened” to the point of skepticism about many of God’s laws (And, don’t tell anyone, but perhaps even skeptical about God’s existence. SHHH!). And they set to separate God’s law from Man’s law. For the most part this has worked out pretty well. I’d say smashingly. In that I can write this prose without fear of my neighbors stoning me to death or beheading me as they do, and did, in cultures where this firewall is not in place (ya know, because their operating system tells them they have to).

SO I got off point. Animals, right?

Yeah, so we are pretty clever animals but, in this county, we (the enlightened) better figure out VERY QUICKLY the difference between EXTREMELY common, awkward, animalistic human interactions (driven by hormones and momentary lapses of reason) and malicious, malignant, predatory behavior (driven by those other two things, but mostly HATE). We better figure out the difference between people who admit their wrongdoing and apologize, and those who lie and defame their accusers. MOSTLY we better figure out how to FORGIVE those that have earned, asked for, and deserve FORGIVENESS. Because the people who want to DESTROY the FIREWALL between Man’s Law and God’s Law don’t care about any of this and are stacking the courts, legislatures and school boards across this county, as we eat our own in some retarded debate club purity campaign.

Isn’t it ironic that forgiveness is a God’s law and not a Man’s law, don’t you think. A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think. (IT’S LIKE RAY-E-AIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!)

Democrats and Women’s Rights Activists FAILED today, and it turns my stomach (I NEED A HORMONE BLAST, STAT!).

We Must Support Al Franken

I support Al Franken in whatever he decides. But I want him to stay in Washington. ‘Stuart Saves His Family’ changed my life, no joke. His books, including ‘Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot’ & ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them’, are the shit. Not to mention his SNL stints. Plus, I dunno, what he’s been WORKING FOR as a high profile senator in league with the PROGRESSIVE movement. If women truly need protection from Al Franken for being a ‘glom’, and no ‘glom’ can ever be in the leadership of the Democratic party, then we might as well just hand the keys to the Nazis. How many women did Joe Biden ‘glom’? Isn’t Joe the ‘great hope’ for 2020? Didn’t they want him to run in 2016? WAKE UP DEMS! You are going to decimate your already milquetoast talent pool with this shit. Who wants to join the purity police? NOT ME, JACK!


Just keep it up with this METOO purge and you will see, to quote the great Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, “This is not going to go the way you think!”