Bandini Mountain, Apathy and Metaphorical Cancer

Yeah, I stopped writing the blog on the reg. Sorry about that. I’ll tell ya what happened. I was writing this tribute piece on the Sex Pistols a couple of weeks after my last post and I just kind of stopped mid-article and said to myself, “Fuck this.” I think I came back a couple of weeks later and thought, “Yeah, I don’t need to finish this.”

Here, I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes…I love “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols”… And, if you agree, doesn’t that make you feel good?

See? I just got the same result and saved us both a lot of time.

Honestly, I was trying to get into writing something less to do with #PresidentShithead and his cult, because I’m tired of writing about that. I guess I found I’m just getting tired of everything (except for family and friends…they get a pass).

Like every person of conscience, I’m tired of the situation. And I know that this fatigue is by design. It’s what the situation creators want…

Apathy.

Everyday is a Bandini Mountain to be sifted through…pie by pie…and the next day they just stack up another mound. I mean Trump has been playing the system, the media and us his whole life…and now he has the full force of the executive branch of our government and the Republican party behind his act. And he’s going to use that power to run our batteries down with his constant turd-valanche…to wear us out. It’s what he does. He exhausts his adversaries. It works for him. It always has. What makes you think it’s going to stop working now? Like I said…

Apathy.

I know Trump is an asshole. I know the Republican Party is run on asshole power. I know their combination is a marriage made in hell.

Every fucking day we have to sift through his fucking turds and this administration just watches us, smiles and says, “Keep sifting…We’ll make more.”

You get tired at a certain point in handling excrement. You need escape. You say, “Let’s just fucking impeach this tool already.” And you hear back, “Oh, no. We have to make our case to the American People first.” Well good luck.

With the Democratic Party you have a 25 headed Hydra sitting on top of the Tower of Babel. How is that disparate group going to put a signal to noise against the monolithic Trump/Twitter megaphone and the Fox media run state? If the Dems want to win this war they will need to get a unified message and stick to it. Here’s one…

“We are going to impeach Trump…soon”

Strong, huh? I guess I’ll have to take that back to the drawing board. But my point stands, the Dems do need a unified message. And SOON.

I want to be fair, though. It’s unenviable what the true turd sifters have to go through. I’m talking about the politicians, and lawyers, and activists, and journalist, and law enforcement, and researchers, and citizens who stand on the front lines and fight the apathy and fight to save our federal government from stumbling into becoming a full blown kleptocracy…

Or maybe it already is one.

The undetected, malignant grapefruit-sized tumor (that’s been there for years) just shifted and now we have a visible lump. I mean let’s get real, this didn’t start with Trump. He’s just a tumor.

But as apathetic as I feel. And as much as I hate the idea of being sick with chemo. And as much as I know I’ve got Stage 4 and we’re not gonna catch all of it. I want to send a message to the Doctor.

Dr. Pelosi, if you’re out there. If you can hear me. I’m getting weak. We need to schedule the surgery. We need to get this tumor out. I know you want to run more tests, and that’s fine, you’re the doctor. But we have to schedule a date, please. Because I’m looking at this tumor and it ain’t gonna just teleport out of my body. I know you want to put me on that drug that’s in trials and coming out next year, Nuprezdint. But I heard it only has a 50% success rate…I don’t like those odds. I’m watching this tumor grow day-by-day and thinking about everything going on in my body I can’t see. You gotta cut it out, Doc. You gotta! I’m fighting for my life over here…cough cough…

…And scene. (Touching, wasn’t it?)

I’m trying not to let apathy win. Really I am. I’m trying. But God Damn if they don’t make it easy…
 

 

The Shutdown Isn’t About the Wall

Yeah, the shutdown isn’t about the wall anymore…if it ever was. It’s day 35 of said shutdown now. On December 11, 2018, our beloved leader, “#PresidentShithead” Trump, in a very cringe televised meeting with Pelosi and Schumer, said he was going to shutdown the government if he didn’t get $5.7 billion for the border wall (the 2000 mile long southern border wall that Mexico was going to pay for…To be clear, I don’t want anyone to pay for that wall). In the meeting, Trump should have been wearing a bib, bonnet and diaper…he clearly needed a changing. Not surprisingly, the Democratic leadership said, “No deal.”…that Trump could stick those steel slats up his ass…sideways. He knew they would not accept his ultimatum…it was all stagecraft.

On December 22, 2018, while the Republicans still held the House majority, an appropriations bill was sent up to keep the government funded. It included a negotiated 1.6 billion for “border security”. In a prior meeting, #PresidentShithead signaled to goiter-turtle McConnell that he would accept a bill that did not include the 5.7 billion. This promise being the only reason McConnell would allow the bill to go to a vote…and so that appropriations bill was unanimously passed by the senate… Well, it turned out that Trump lied (WHAT?) and would not sign the appropriations bill after all, not without the 5.7 billion…and the government shut down…just in time for Christmas. Isn’t that sweet? A Christmas gift for us? The American people? Oh, he shouldn’t have (No, seriously, he really shouldn’t have).

So yeah, all that is bullshit. It’s the facts, or better, some of the facts. But it all seems to be framed wrong, in my mind at least, in what I see coming from the main (“lame”) stream media.

[Pushes up spectacles and giggles to self while typing.]

Here’s the deal, the shutdown is a stall. It’s a distraction. It’s a smokescreen.

Trump is hitting the “snooze button” to stall the inevitable destruction of his Presidency.

So long as the government can’t function, the government can’t “get him”.

We’ve all had those experiences…when you know something bad and inevitable is coming your way…You just don’t want to deal with it “right now” so you just find some way to put it off. You know the end is inevitable, but you just want another week, another day, another hour…before your number comes up…before you have to pay the piper (Hitler in the bunker, anyone?…Too dated? How’s about Billy McFarland at the Fyre Festival?)

Trump is fucked. He knows it. He knows that the Democratic House is going to roast him alive. All the itty-bitty-titty committees are going to convene and start digging into all his shit and he won’t have Devin “the Waterboy” “Numb-nuts” Nunes (and his analogs) there to cock-block the Dems anymore. The Dems have subpoena power now. The Dems have been waiting two years to get to Trump’s fucking, and they are going to fuck him good…and there will be no lube.

And Trump will be easy pickings, because he is an immoral, corrupt, lying criminal. Sure, he’s a criminal who, with the help of Vladimir Putin, conned just enough racists, superstitious, hateful, greedy and stupid Americans into voting for him to get elected President. But he’s a criminal nonetheless.

The thing is that Trump’s “little” shutdown, the one that gave him a January of “not having to deal with it”… well, it’s not “little” to all the Federal workers who are affected. It’s a BIG deal to them. They have financial obligations, they have daycare payments, they’ve got kids in college, they’ve got children and spouses with healthcare problems, they have parents in assisted living facilities. Some of these people are living paycheck to paycheck. They are not the wealth class. When their ends don’t meet they suffer, they lose. What Trump is doing to these people is straight up evil. But he doesn’t care.

If there is one thing we know, Trump is a narcissist and he doesn’t give a shit about anybody but himself. His comfort is king. Just remember what Trump’s daughter-in-law said, that the shutdown is “bigger than one person”…I guess that’s true, if you count Trump and her…then that makes two.

And the State of the Union drama is just another distraction point to buy another week’s vacation.

But the shutdown will end. The Democrats will not negotiate with a terrorist. They need to set a firm precedent with this asshole, that if he tries to hold the government hostage he loses.

And that shitheal McConnell, he’s doing his job…ever the control-freak partisan…sticking by his toxic, criminal President to the bitter end. But it’s all just “by the numbers”. The turtle’s been around long enough. He knows when he’s lost. He knows the President’s holding a losing hand. Now it’s just a waiting game until the President or the Senate fold. You can only stare at a losing hand for so long before you have to fold. In the words of Giuliani, “Put up or shut up.”

It was just a couple of days ago when the FBI Agents Association put out a statement that said “The shutdown has eliminated any ability to operate” and that “The fear is our enemies know they can run freely.”

“Well,” I thought, “that must be so comforting to the President”…to know that the FBI is now dysfunctional. Mission Accomplished.

But I think the shutdown is coming to an end soon. Like Giuliani said, “Put up or shut up.”

I could sit here and slag all these Trumpee assholes, one-by-one. But that would be a waste of my time. Fuck ’em. Paid comedians with full staffs of writers and researchers do a far better job of that than I can.

[Trump reaches for the snooze button again.]

[Tom Petty stands above him, dressed in full Tom Petty regalia: top hat, Roger McGuinn color tinted granny glasses, waistcoat, red sunburst Rickenbacker 360/12 strapped on (amp cranked to 11), flashing silver guitar pick raised high in hand…He stops, turns to the piano and plays Wake Up Time]

 

 

Lite Blog

Hi. Howaya? I started writing the piece below on December 30th. I got busy. Plus I wasn’t really all that taken with it, so I shelved it. I also felt it was analysis with little in the way of “fun” spin, so I thought it wasn’t in the spirit of the blog. I wanted to get in my general disappointments with the administration and the lack of movement nationally toward an assault weapon ban as a sort of “end of year wrap-up”. It just seemed slight in light of the actual year.

Today, January 11, 2019, our federal government is in the midst of a record-setting-long government shutdown that is the work of one man (one immoral and vomitous man. Guess who.), in a desperate attempt to create political momentum to brace himself…to save himself from the incoming storm that will sweep over him when the Mueller Probe drops their report. If federal workers and those that rely on them, their income or services suffer, so be it. Most sickening is the support this behavior gets from the Republicans in the Senate.

I just want to make a short point here based on the news of the day, before I get to the news of yesterday.

Trump’s wall and the philosophy behind it must be fought to the death.

There is a need for a lot of funding on the border (even funding for new walls, barriers and fences, as well as maintenance and upgrades on the existing 500+ miles of existing barriers…that is what we call “infrastructure maintenance”). No one with any reason is calling for “open borders”, or removal of exiting barriers. Okay?

I just don’t trust the racist, xenophobic assholes of this administration to apply that funding. If they are really concerned about the influx of refugees fleeing Central America seeking asylum in the US, then I need to hear something in the plan about how all that is going to be addressed at the source. That really should be the main thing to talk about. I also need to hear about the investment in humanitarian solutions to help these refugees until the source problem is addressed (such as investment in better refugee handling facilities or procedures).

Instead, we just get the same old tired fear tactics about crime, drugs and terrorism as justification to push through the manifestation of that tired old 2000-mile-long-wall trope. Everything else, the source problem and the humanitarian crisis it creates, gets swept under the rug. Why? Because construction projects are easy. Finding solutions to actual problems that work…that fix the source of the problem…that’s hard. That takes real commitment, empathy, investment, sacrifice. I don’t think these asshole Republicans understand any of these things.

I’m not going to support funding some racist band-aid solution…A solution that’s only being discussed (at this level of national attention) because some asshole wants to say he kept his promise to his asshole supporters…so they’ll “be there for him” in the inevitable, upcoming impeachment fight.

Today, I see so many “band-aid” solutions to very serious issues. The southern border security issue (as framed by Trumpists) isn’t even on my radar as a crisis. We have robust, well funded border security and immigration enforcement. But this band-aid solution of a wall will do nothing to address the problems it is purported to “fix”. We will still have an opioid crisis. We will still have crime where there is poverty. We will still have shifting demographics and the insecurity and fear they can generate.

It’s really tough for me to witness this farce…to know how many people it’s hurting. All in some sick attempt to give solace to isolationist, racist and xenophobic Trumpists and White Nationalist. And the Republican Senate is totally behind it. They could get us out of this shutdown with a supermajority vote…They could, but they wont. I wonder why?

So now on to the other bit…

The “crummy” End-of-Year piece

So, this year. This fucking year. I’ve been so challenged this year. Remember when people said that 2017 was rotten?  That was so cute. Well, here comes 2019.

And I know 2019 is either going to be Trump’s impeachment or the fight for Trump’s impeachment. It has to be. His behavior as president has been too disgraceful for the new House to ignore. I mean what is a “President” anymore? The construct is so degraded at this point.

Trump’s doctrine of “I alone”-ism is an affront to and assault on the constitution he swore to obey and protect. His impeachment in the House (regardless of the Senate’s support) is going to happen in 2018. Bet on it.

Trump was (shortsightedly) protected by the Republican majority in the House until now. With the Democrats taking over, things are going to get really tough, really fast. And it needs to be that way. Trump is a threat to our country through, just to start, his immorality and incompetence. You need to face a threat like that head-on. There is no other way (We don’t need a “Chamberlain” right now. We don’t need to appease him. We can’t afford it). We don’t need to live under this Trumpism bullshit; this never-ending bullhorn blasting hatred and lies.

If the Democratic house does not pull out every stop to make Trump completely transparent to the American people they will have failed.

As I see it, all presidents need to be totally financially and ethically transparent to the population they serve; we need to know every connection point, every sphere of influence. That must be the price paid to become President. If you want to serve as the President you have to come clean. No lies. You lie (specifically to hide a crime), you’ve perjured yourself to your oath of office and you need to go.

Trump’s obsession with southern border security and his popularity with the white nationalist movement are also worth feeling sick over. The child separation policy is a perfect window into the mind of this fuck and the people who support him.

So yeah, in 2019 were going to need to put all of Trump’s shit out in public and try to get the Republicans to “manage their yard”…ya know? “Pull the weeds”. We do this not because we want to, but because we have to. We have to protect this country from this treat.

2019 is going to be intense. You throw a recession on top of that and we’re talking fun city. It’ll make 2018 look like a fucking daydream.

Guns

Anyway, I really came here to write about guns. Which is something I think about at this time every year. I’m always seeing a “Year’s Biggest Stories” news special around this time of year and there is always a section about the mass shootings that happened in the last year.

I’ve always been sensitive to this. If you aren’t you are a sick fuck (IMHO). But I became more sensitive in 2012. I became very rigid on this subject when the Newtown massacre happened, when twenty 6 and 7-year-olds where slaughtered, literally blown to pieces, in minutes (seconds) with an AR15. I recall watching the news that day, ELEVEN DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, holding my newborn son in my arms. I saw the truth with such clarity that day, I never will be moved off of it. The voice of GOD! This truth I saw? All assault rifle style firearms need to taken out of public circulation NOW!

I hate all guns. I prefer no guns at all. That said, I appreciate and respect that people want to have the right to feel protected. They want to have access to a lethal weapon that can afford them that protection. I say we can meet that need without the assault weapons.

I’ll give you the common arguments I see (arguments I have had to answer) and my responses.

Argument 1) “What you call assault weapons are really semi-automatic firearms; a category that includes handguns and hunting rifles. You, as someone who doesn’t own a firearm, don’t know what you are talking about. There are no differences between semi-automatic firearms. You outlaw one and it’s a slippery slope. Your ignorance is going to impede my right to protect myself and my right to bear arms”

So, this one is easy. AR15 style weapons have a long barrel, high muzzle velocity and ammunition that explodes inside the body. It is not a hand gun. It is not a hunting riffle. It is the semi-automatic version of a military assault weapon designed with one purpose, to kill large amounts of humans efficiently.

In that way it is its own category of weapon and ammunition. See? People with reason or brains understand the concept of categories. Like “because this item has these specific pre-determined attributes, it belongs in such-and-such category”…Go to an online firearm retailer, they seem be able to determine categories. See? https://www.cabelas.com/catalog/browse/semiautomatic-centerfire-rifles/_/N-1114861/Ns-CATEGORY_SEQ_105524280

Militaries choose this weapon and ammunition type over handguns and hunting rifles (and their related ammunition) for a reason. They want to inflict maximum casualties, to bring maximum lethality. They choose a long barrel gun with a high muzzle velocity that causes the bullet to explode and shred the organs inside the target…to insure not just “incapacity” but death.

When the bullet hits your body whether it comes from a fully automatic version of this weapon type vs semi- automatic hardly matters. Your organs explode…You die.

To go one further semi vs full auto doesn’t really slow the shooter either. Per some self-confessed firearms expert on Quota (https://www.quora.com/Do-you-prefer-3-round-burst-or-full-auto-in-a-military-rifle):

“Suppressive fire is the classic reason one uses a weapon in full automatic configuration, but continuous fire from a skilled operator firing a semi-automatic weapon can create the same desired effect.”

This 60 minutes story lays the facts out pretty well (if you care to know them):

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ar-15-used-mass-shootings-weapon-of-choice-60-minutes/

So, no. AR15 type weapons are not the same as other semi automatic firearms, they are a type or category of firearm and ammunition and, as such, can be singled out and banned based on pre-determined attributes that would not affect access to other categories of semi automatic firearms.

Argument 2) “Assault weapons only account for a small fraction (2%) of firearm related deaths. Singling them out is foolish, unfair and unreasonable.”

I’m not sure about the accuracy of firearm death statistics because the CDC isn’t funded to get all the info. I want to see their full report, when it is funded. I think it will be very illuminating.

When we get these reports and records, I want to see these deaths put into very specific categories. For example, if we make a category for “unhinged shooters” I think we will see that the percentage of murders committed using assault rifles goes up.

Bottom line, I don’t care if it’s 2% or 0.2%.

The day we have a mass shooting with an assault rifle that was illegally acquired because it was against the law to own such a weapon will be a sad, tragic day. But it will be a day I’ll be comforted to know that we, as a country, did what we could to stop it from happening with our system, legally.

I’ll be comforted to know that we will able to prosecute every link in the illegal/black-market supply chain that delivered that gun to that killer.

Argument 3) “Regulations don’t stop the criminals from getting banned firearms.”

Okay…That is the dumbest argument of all. Following that logic to its natural conclusion means we shouldn’t have any laws at all, because all laws can, and will, be broken.

People who have an understanding about reality, understand that laws do not keep immoral, antisocials from committing crimes. Instead these laws give law enforcement and the judicial system the ability to create programs to fight the black-market, collect and destroy contraband and punish people who break the laws related to owning, trading or committing crimes with banned firearms.

Laws don’t stop crime; they define what a crime is.

In conclusion

I’m a dreamer. I want assault rifles gone. I want Trump and Trumpism gone. Is 2019 gonna get me any of this?…Well, probably not the assault rifles, anyway.

Butt Boy

I am a middle-aged, married, straight white male (photographed above). Long ago, at the beginning of my freshman year of high school, I was ostracized by my all male group of friends for being “gay” even though (as far as I know) I was not gay. This was the beginning of my awareness that homosexuality was a “thing” (Sure, I was aware of the AIDS crisis, and remember that being connected in the media to homosexuals, but sexuality, in general, wasn’t something I thought about much pre-puberty).

I made new friends (I know, hard to believe). As the years went by, a couple of them “came out” to me…my reaction, I was glad they could live their truth.

I remember, as an adolescent and into my young adulthood, seeing news stories about homosexuality, framing it as a social issue/problem and discussing how clinical studies were trying to determine if people were born homosexual or if it was a choice. Social conservatives (from both parties) stated it was a choice (the wrong choice) and warned that accepting homosexuals and homosexual partnerships/marriage into open society would influence impressionable children to choose homosexuality as a lifestyle. As a straight man, I always saw a core absurdity in that “make someone gay” argument…because I know you can’t make me gay (For the record, Hugh Jackman’s existence was a good shot…but it didn’t take). I, of course, took my thought pattern one further and quickly got to the conclusion, “If you can’t make me gay, then you certainly can’t make a gay person straight.”  Next came, “and why would you want to? Why would you care to? Do you need a hobby?”

But that’s me, I’m just not that hung up on gay stuff. I don’t understand the societal/religious obsession with it….but I have a theory…because I’ve been forced to have one in the face of all this mishegaas. I’ll try to make it quick. Most people are conformists. Most people are heterosexual. Homosexuals represent a minority group that can not conform to the majority’s norms (as I said, it’s not a choice). The trouble starts when conformist homosexuals are forced, or force themselves, to repress their sexuality. Repression becomes perversion and self-hatred. Self-hatred becomes misanthropy. This leads to repressed homosexuals hating their own kind, which heterosexual conformists are happy to go along with because conformist majorities don’t have to be pushed hard to accept minority scapegoats. It’s a vicious circle. So in my mind, whenever I see a fervently homophobic person I immediately assume I’m also looking at a “deeply conflicted” person. That’s my theory anyway.

Applying that to my high school ostracizing, I imagine that someone within that peer group was painfully closeted and acting out…the others just “went along”…Why? Because I’m just sooo super hot…I could be wrong.

Honestly, I didn’t appreciate what those a-holes did, but it wasn’t so bad. I think about the countless stories of men physically attacking homosexuals, beating them to death, in some parts of the world arresting and executing them. When confronted with such events I fall back on my theory that the perpetrators are deeply repressed people acting out.

Funny, I guess you can turn this on me and say I’m homophobic for saying homophobia is caused by homosexuals…You might call it “victim blaming”. That’s fair. Like I said, it is just a theory.

By the by, you can also say I’m homophobic because if I had a choice (I know I don’t, but “if I did”) I would choose that my child be heterosexual. Why? Because I’m heterosexual (I think I am anyway). It’s really that simple. That said, if my child was homosexual I would gladly accept it. It just shows how silly it all can get, even in the mind of someone as innocuous as I am. I’m not going to beat myself up for having a whim. It’s silly. What we think. What we want. Our prejudices. Our theories. Our future visions.

I think it’s all harmless so long as I can be humble enough to accept when I’m wrong, or accept that some of the things I think I want aren’t relevant in the bigger picture.

I really just want my child to be happy. To be educated. To be able to do something they enjoy with their life. To be loved. To love themself. To know I love them unconditionally. Does their sexual preference really come into this? I don’t see why it would.

Hey, speaking of future visions and things I want, here goes…

  • I want homosexuality to be total accepted in open society, with no stigma.
  • I want homosexuals protected from discrimination under federal law as a minority group.
  • I want homosexuals to have equal rights in marriage, adoption, you name it.
  • I want the Federal government to actively stamp out all state level homosexual discrimination.
  • I want this bullshit about protecting anti-gay-bigotry as a religious conviction called out as the discrimination it is and made illegal.
  • I want America to be a world leader in homosexual civil rights and I want our state department to sanction and censure countries that persecute homosexuals.

I believe we are really getting somewhere as a society in the journey toward just letting gays be gay. I know it because I’ve seen it come so far in my lifetime and it is great. And if we keep on this path, we just might be surprised how everything changes for the better.

But it is a real world out there, and there’s still a lot of pain. And a lot of homophobic sentiment baked onto the collective conscience and subconscious. We have to be sensitive. By “we” I mean we the people who are “all in” on the acceptance of homosexuality as a societal norm, as a reality to be accepted and integrated.

And so we now sail into the choppy waters of insensitive and homophobic gay slurs made in jest.

Gay Slurs

So I’m trying to evolve here on this gay slur issue. I laid out the background above to give you some insight into my feelings on homosexuals. In short, I want them to be happy, accepted and protected. But now I’m on the highway to the danger zone. I’m going down the “butt boy” hole. A hole I will endeavor to penetrate deeply into in an attempt to find an odorous truth. BTW, this post was inspired by something that happened on TV.

You see, as part of my coping mechanism in these troubled times, I set Morning Joe to record on my DVR (which airs from 3am-6am PST) so I can watch the first hour while I eat my breakfast, drink my coffee and check my internet. They get through some national and international news highlights in that time, summarizing, in some broad strokes, among other things the latest happenings in our federal government’s current leadership crisis. I don’t necessarily agree with their editorial stances, but they share my sense of deep concern that our current president is an immoral liar who constantly degrades his office and corruptly abuses his position of power. It’s a national tragedy that compounds day by day.

Obviously, I could go on and on here litigating against Trump and his cult or tribe, but that is not why I’m writing today. I’m just saying that Trump is what brought me to Morning Joe. When Obama was president I was listing to Howard Stern in the morning, having a laugh. I could give a shit about Joe. But things have changed. Now my weekdays have common bookends; I watch Joe in the morning and the previous night’s Colbert monologue after dinner. And that’s what it is and I’m okay with that for now. It’s a pacifier. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s my meds.

On Wednesday December 12, 2018 (a day that will live in infamy), Morning Joe host Mika Brzezinski used the derogatory gay slur “butt boy” in chastising Secretary of State Mike Pompeo on national television. Specifically, it was in regards to Pompeo’s sickening attempt, through disinformation, to minimize the damage caused by the Saudi orchestrated Khashoggi assassination on our nation’s relationship with the Saudi monarchy. Mika’s point was that Pompeo was serving Trump’s interest over our nation’s and, in so, he is making himself Trump’s “butt boy” (I suppose he should be America’s butt boy). I didn’t see it live but I caught it on YouTube. It was very out of character for Mika’s television persona (I’m assuming she picked up the phrase from a friend). She has fully apologized since. Here’s the full story at the Advocate in case you want to read more about it.
https://www.advocate.com/politics/2018/12/12/brzezinski-i-shouldnt-have-called-sec-state-pompeo-butt-boy

Bottom line, it was unfortunate. It gave Trump an opportunity to twitter slam Mika. I believe she’s sincerely sorry and regretful she went there. I’m pretty sure it’s all forgiven and forgotten by the LGBTQXYZ. But it did get me thinking.

If you look at this very webpage you find a political cartoon I created where I refer to Paul Ryan as “Buttboy” (apparently, I prefer the contraction). So this news story blipped my radar, because if she’s guilty, I’m WAY guilty.

So, let me ask you, is my political cartoon homophobic? Well, if you think it is, I guess it is. Even worse my “Buttboy” slur was the joke’s “topper”. When you write comedy you’re supposed to end on what you think is the strongest joke, the “topper”. So Mika’s charge would be butt boy manslaughter (a crude off the cuff gaffe). But I crafted that cartoon in Photoshop for hours…I’ve committed premeditated first-degree buttboy murder. I’m guilty!

And I’d do it again!

But I am sensitive to the position that buttboy should be retired. I’m not there yet (as you can see, the cartoon is still up) but I’m getting there and I’m willing to listen and keep thinking.

To my insensitive mind, when I heard Mika’s gaffe my first thought was that Pompeo, who looks to me like an ambulatory baked potato – well past his prime, is not a good candidate for the buttboy moniker. When I think of buttboys I want them young and fit, preferably shaved clean/clean.

“I’ve known buttboys. Buttboys were friends of mine.
Mr. Secretary, you’re no buttboy.”

Technically, Pompeo would fall into the category of “bottom bear”, but that’s a whole other can of worms (In case you were wondering, National Security Advisor John Bolton would be classified as a “Bottle Brush”).

When I’m thinking buttboy, in the context of today’s political players, it has got to be Paul Ryan and Jared Kushner (maybe Marco Rubio…oh baby, the way he hits that stubby water bottle really sets the imagination reeling). Buttboys have to be men who still have the kiss of youth about them…Slim-ish builds…Watching their carbs…Oiling up to hit the gym.

Wait stop…

I did it again, didn’t I? I used the homophobic trope stereotype of the “buttboy” to insult and emasculate men I disdain. But I can do it, right? Because I’m “edgy”? Because I’m “funny”? Because my targets are straight? Because I’m “punching up”?

I’m not so sure it’s okay anymore. It’s hard to say…to judge definitively. It’s a grey area in my mind for now. I think about how I would hear it, if someone else said it to me, in any context. They would have to be really fucking funny to sell it to me…and I’m not so sure I’m that funny.

So yeah, I’m on the fence and on the ropes, but Paul Ryan is still Buttboy…for now.

But I do evolve. Ten years ago, I used to be pretty glib and indiscriminate in my use of the word “fag” as a “good-natured ball buster” between friends, but I wouldn’t touch that word with a ten-foot pole today in any context. I’m serious.

For example, this Tuesday, the day before Mika’s slur, I uploaded an old humor video I found that I made back in 2005. In that video, in character, I referred to the rhythm section of U2 as “fags”. Seeing it in 2018, that joke made me uneasy, but I liked the rest of the bit. So I made the decision to edit the audio and comically overdub the word “gentlemen” over the slur. You see, I just couldn’t stand behind a joke with that word anymore. I didn’t want to stand behind it. I guess that’s evolution.

So, if I’m being honest with myself, is buttboy my methadone for fag? It’s tough to say.

I’m prone to say, at least for now, we agree to the general rule of staying away from the big, agreed-upon dehumanizers (n, c, and f), but we must allow some wiggle room for lesser epithets so long as they are artfully played and not used to “punch down”.
https://www.glaad.org/blog/punching-down-navigating-jokes-someones-expense.
Just understand playing on that field means you have to be ready to take the criticism that may come back at you in good humor. You gotta thread a needle to sell that shit, and if you can’t take the heat stay out of the bathhouse sauna.

Look, sometimes I will be crass in the pursuit of my humor. In my form of humor, crass language, imagery and scenarios are essential ingredients. They are a tool. They are not the only tool. But sometimes they are the right tool for the job. It’s the spike and hammer. It’s shock humor. Shock humor has a place. It breaks down people’s perceptions and gets right to the core.

When done right, I think it’s healing, epiphanic in its destruction. I believe that sometimes you have to cut in order to heal.

Look, I’m sorry if this post isn’t much fun. A meditation on the deconstruction of humor seldom is.

It’s just tough now, man, because everyone is so…so…

Butthurt?

KPTV

WAY back in 2005, thirteen years ago, I made this video in college as part of a multimedia project. I ran across it today cleaning up some old files and it brought back memories…stupid memories. It’s supposed to be funny (?). I was inspired by Stephen Colbert to do a caricature/exaggeration of myself…a know-it-all “rocker” who, against his better judgment, is going to do you a favor and elucidate the proper way to rock (not that you’d understand). It was improvised on the spot around some discarded “Rock Star” trading cards and a Rush poster I found lying around. After I was done, I attempted to “fix” the results with graphic overlays. It goes down alright…a window into why I’m not a YouTuber.

Seeing it today reminds me that time is cruel…